Today...

Today was the day we hoped to welcome our 4th baby into the world. We looked forward to those little newborn cries, snuggling that baby close to us and talking about how much she looked just like all our other babies.

We were excited to be venturing into the unknown. Nobody in either of our families has more than 3 kids. He came from 2, I came from 3, and my siblings have 2 & 3 respectively.

We were looking forward to knowing that our 4th child would be our final child, due to the fact that I have to have c-sections and I didn't really want to go through that more than 4 times.

But this was not to be. Our sweet baby is already experiencing the true Glory of the Lord. We still mourn for our loss, our hearts still ache. The reminders are everywhere.

Yesterday, I fell on my knees in prayer to the Lord to help me through this. I called on my family to pray for us and as always, God came through. I was far less emotional than I expected to be.

God's grace is sufficient for me. This means if we never have another child, God's grace is sufficient to fill that longing in my heart. I rejoice that God, the creator of every good thing, loves me as His own precious child. I'm thankful that He longs to be with me as I long to be with our sweet baby in heaven.

It's a hard thing to explain when you already have children and you still mourn this kind of loss. Why aren't they enough to keep me from grieving? Because only God is enough. He is truly the only one that can keep me joyful.

Thank you Lord that you love us all in such amazing and personal ways. You are so good to us!


Our sweet baby, Lydia Rachelle Songer, is basking in the Light of our Saviour. I so look forward to meeting you in heaven. You are truly loved.